Category Archives: Intentional

Feeling My Best

Posted on by

robertandme

Today, April 1, 2013, I feel the best that I have felt in a long time.  I have made some necessary changes, and they have been very beneficial to my health… physically, emotionally, and mentally (spiritually is a whole other level).

The biggest thing is that I am finally, consistently, walking my talk.

For years I have blogged about things that I would do for a short time… and then I would struggle and stray.  I would give in to food/drink temptations, stop working out when it would be difficult for my schedule, stop doing things because they took too much time or effort, and most importantly, I did everything out of emotion (eat, drink, yell, etc).  I would go from one extreme to the next, struggling to maintain any balance.

I am by far from perfect, and I’m willing to admit and accept that more than ever.  The biggest difference is that most of the time I make decisions and choices instead of just allowing them to happen “to me.”  I take one day at a time, and when one day doesn’t go so great, I try again the next day.  I don’t give up because things aren’t perfect… because I know that they never will be.

My decisions are based on God’s word and/or how they make me feel physically.  I try not to base things on emotion, but I know that for me, my emotions do tell me a lot.  When I’m very stressed all the time, there’s something not right… either spiritually or physically.  So while I don’t base decisions on my emotions, I do take them into consideration.  I will say that there are times when my kids just make me stressed, but I’m able to recognize that :-) .  Sometimes it’s not my “fault”… there are times when there are outside circumstances that I have to learn to handle/deal with.

These are things that I am doing more consistently, that have made a huge difference for me:

  • Reading God’s word daily, and praying to Him often
  • Praying about situations that worry me/stress me out instead of trying to control them myself (I am in the waiting stages of a major decision, and instead of being stressed by it, I’m just trusting that God has an amazing plan!).
  • Loving on/praying for others more!
  • Limiting online time (not being online as much when the kids are awake)
  • Trying not to yell so much (though I’m not perfect in this area, I have gotten so much better)… it makes a huge difference in our household.
  • Reading books about God’s love, mercy, grace, and justice (I have been learning so much about the heart of God lately, and I’m constantly reminded how blessed we are).  My favorites right now involve authors by the last name of Hatmaker… Brandon and Jen.
  • Working out regularly… Getting back outside to run… Strength training… etc.  Having a goal in this area- wanting to run a 5k in May.
  • Eating whole, real foods.  These include raw milk, raw cheese, fresh ground/soaked wheat foods (homemade), lots of fruits and veggies, coconut oil, fermented cod liver oil (Green Pasture) and raw foods supplements (Vitamin Code/Garden of Life), healthy meats (try to buy grass fed, but that doesn’t always happen), cage free eggs (mostly from our chickens), etc.
  • Allowing myself to sway from that list at times, and not beating myself up.  I’m learning to just enjoy food!  The more I make myself feel guilty over not eating perfectly 100% of the time, the harder it is for me to be consistent.
  • Not drinking sodas (this is HUGE).  Not only do I feel better physically, but it is a huge weight off emotionally/physically/spiritually because it was an addiction that I could not kick for years.
  • Eating when I’m hungry (I tend to allow myself to get past the point of just a little hungry to the point of starving, and then I just want to bite everyone’s head off).  I have to be careful not to let me blood sugar dip too much.
  • Becoming more consistent in disciplining my kids and not just getting mad all the time (though I do “just get mad” at times, it’s not all day, every day!).
  • Letting go of the little things that just aren’t a big deal (loudness does NOT equal poor choices on the kids’ part… they are just being kids!).
  • Allowing myself to grieve when those times come (not ignoring it, but giving into it).
  • Allowing myself to be human, but knowing that decisions that I make can truly affect my physical, emotional, and mental state.  There has to be a balance here.  Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.
  • Be as organized as possible; have as much routine as a typical day would allow.
  • Staying busy!  For some, this would cause more stress… but I find that if I’m up and moving, then I feel my best… and the kids are much happier.  So while my to-do lists can be pretty long, it feels good to be moving all the time (and being productive)!  I allow myself rest at the end of the day (go to bed early!), and on Sundays (take naps, don’t workout, and just enjoy the day)!  Oh, and there are days in which I just throw out the to-do list and take a nap with my Ethan ;-) .
  • Most importantly… Making memories with my family.  I find that if I’m focused on spending time with and loving my family, I’m not so focused on myself.  I used to think that making memories meant spending money and doing extravagant things, but I have found that most good memories made are free :-) .

Again, I’m not saying that I have attained some kind of perfection, because we all know that will never happen.  I am just at a point of contentment, consistency, and joy that I haven’t experienced in a long time!

Anxiety and Depression have Reminded Me of One Thing…

Posted on by

I don’t fit in here.

In a city of “McMansions” and the goal for everyone to have “bigger and better,” I have felt the need to pursue those things as well.  Not purposefully, but it just snuck up on me.  Kids here have an attitude of entitlement.  The poor and needy are looked at as a problem not because they are in need, but because they make the city look bad.  People will be in a lot of debt to keep up a certain image that can only be found in stuff.

It’s everywhere, and I allowed it to sneak into my heart.  I have felt embarrassed to live in the small house that we live, in the not-so-fancy neighborhood that we live in (what many in Frisco call the “ghetto” even though it is far from it), in the fact that we rarely have extra money to spend, and I have constantly felt the need to explain and justify myself.  I have thought that if I ever make more money, the first thing I will do is buy a bigger house, buy newer/nicer vehicles, etc.

I’m breaking out of this trap today… the way that we decided to do that is to figure out what our family mission is and why we are here.  We don’t feel that we are to live the way everyone else lives here.  We feel that we are to stand out for the sake of following Christ as He has called us to follow Him.

Here’s our “tentative” mission statement:

To live simply and intentionally so that we are free to give, live, and go as we follow Christ.

Our priorities are:

  • Loving and following Christ- in missions, ministry, service, and using our spiritual gifts… all for His glory
  • Family- discipleship, light-heartedness (having fun!), experiencing the world around us (outdoors, travel), and growing our family through adoption
  • Being good stewards of our finances, bodies, and the world- fostering a healthy environment mentally, emotionally, and physically
  • Being open to go where God calls us

We see adoption in our future.  We see missions in our future (whether that be regular short-term or long-term).  We feel the need to continue to shed anything excess so that we can give, live, and go.

Change of Heart

Posted on by

changeofheart

I spent weeks thinking through my “word for the year,” feeling like it was a perfect fit for my goals. I desired to be able to continue doing all the things that I felt were important, more consistently. So, my “word for the year” was consistency.

The past few weeks have been everything but consistent. We have had lots of sickness, missing work (which means less of a pay check), and just craziness.

God has a way of shaking up my ideals.

We’re just a few weeks into the year, and I’ve realized one thing: my “word for the year” was completely my idea, not His.

One thing that I’m realizing is that I will never be consistent in everything because, well, I’m imperfect. Focusing on this will only cause more guilt and frustration. This is not what God has called us to! Guilt is not from Him.

Instead of consistency, I’ve decided to focus on Kingdom-minded things… Living this life for the glory of God, loving others with all that’s with-in, missions. Missions. Where did THAT come from?

I have been feeling a calling for a while in this area… Robert and I both have. We certainly don’t feel a call to full time missions at this point, but God has been showing me over and over again that He has called us to share His love with others… and for me, that means away from my bubble.

Early this morning, as I was spending time with Jesus, I heard these words in a JJ Heller song:

“Everyone is known for something; what’s it going to be for you? Who are you? Who are you?”

I absolutely enjoy and have a passion for eating real foods, sharing the knowledge that I’ve gained over the years with others, researching and putting natural living into practice… but I don’t want to be known for that. My desire is to be known as a Christ follower… one that loves Him with all of my being… one that loves others more than myself… one that serves Him with all that is with-in me, and then some. Not for my glory, but for His. I don’t want to be known as a perfectionist, but as someone who is completely imperfect and relying on Jesus for all that I need.

I’ve realized lately that my focus is so off, yet again. And I don’t say this out of guilt, frustration with myself, or anything… I actually feel a weight lifted when I share this. Because God doesn’t want perfection out of us; He wants us to just surrender… to let go of control… to let go and follow Him. To trust that He has a plan that is so much better than our own.

“Perfection has a price, though I cannot afford to live that life. It always ends the same, a fight I’ll never win!
Ooooh, control. It’s time… time to let you go!” -JJ Heller

The thing is, if I’m focusing on controlling everything and perfectionism, something is going to suffer. Because as I have learned over, and over, and over, and over, and over again… Perfectionism is impossible and it just brings frustration, stress, and guilt.

Not sure why I constantly have to learn the hard way. I’m pretty sure I have about a dozen of posts about how I’ve slipped into perfectionism again and I’m having to take a step back. But, this is just something that I’ve struggled with for years, and probably will… because, well, I’m imperfect ;-) .

Weeding Out the Non-Essential

Posted on by

weedingoutnon-essential

After my last post, I needed to take several days away from my blog to process, pray, and think through every-thing.

I came to this very difficult conclusion: I struggle deeply with being so passionate about so much, and being unable to do it all.  I’m having to weed out the non-essential.

With the desire to simplify, I have written about choosing “four essential things,” and trying to allow the others non-essentials to drop for a while until I’m able to be consistent with the essential.

Unfortunately, as I look at things, blogging is not really in my list of essentials.  But, I seriously don’t think that God wants to me completely drop my blog.  How can I enjoy blogging, encourage others, etc without it becoming an essential?

Reduce.  Heavily.

I cannot make a blog that has no form of income or in-person interaction into a focus.  I just can’t.  It isn’t possible time-wise, and it isn’t possible in the realm of the ministry that God has called me to.  I understand that God has used my blog to minister and speak to many of you, and I’m SO glad!  I would never say that this isn’t part of the ministry that God has called me to, but He has placed so many ministries in my life that happen in person, and they require so much of my time and energy.  I have a family to take care of, I teach preschool part-time, and I also work with the junior high students at my church.

I have made the very difficult decision to only blog twice a week.  With how much is required of me at home, school, and church, this is all that I really have time for.  This includes reducing my time on Facebook.  I have made the plan to only be online during the boys’ rest/nap time on Mondays and Fridays, and maybe once on the weekend.  I will still get on Facebook on my phone at times because it’s easier than getting on the computer, but I’m just online too much!

I’ve also been truly feeling a strong desire for missions lately, and I’m praying through where this is headed.  I have the possibility to do some short term foreign mission this coming year, and since that is a huge desire of my heart, I will want to spend more time/energy on that!  And God has made it clear that becoming a childbirth educator is to be more of a ministry than a business, and I need to get that finished!  I desire to work with teen moms and those that are struggling through their pregnancies for different reasons.  I had the opportunity at one point to teach at the Dallas Downtown Pregnancy Center, but I wasn’t finished with my class so I had to turn it down!  I’m praying that I’ll have the same opportunity here once I’m finished with my training!

See, I just have so many things going on!

I hope that you’ll stick around… but I can understand if you don’t!  Ultimately, God is in control of it all!

So, back to my four essentials:

  1. Relationships: Jesus, Robert, my children, other family, close friends, those that I mentor and are mentored by, and those that God has put in my life to serve.
  2. Service: My home, school, church, missions, etc.
  3. Health: Eating real foods, reducing toxins when possible
  4. Simplicity and Living Intentionally: Playing more, being outdoors more, keeping everything simple to be consistent, backpacking as a couple, camping as a family, missions, etc.

This is all I have time for.  Period.

Simplifying to be Consistent: Meal Planning (yes, again!)

Posted on by

Recently I wrote a post about meal planning, sharing a few steps that were important in the process, but with the understanding that everyone needs to find their own way.  I have come to a place in which I’ve gotten very consistent with this area of life, so I’ve decided to refine the process a bit more Smile.

Why would I “refine” a process that works?

Well, because that’s what I do.  Once I feel confident with something, I like to refine and simplify it even more.

So, I’m taking what I already do, and I’m adding specific types of meals for each day of the week.

  • Monday- Soups, salads, sandwiches
  • Tuesday- Something with a whole chicken
  • Wednesday (our busy/late night because of church)- Burrito Bowls (leftover chicken simmered in salsa, pinto beans, brown rice, raw cheddar, avocado, and tomato)
  • Thursday- Mexican Food (using beans from last night)
  • Friday- Game night foods (finger foods, homemade pizza, etc)
  • Saturday- Pancakes for breakfast, Special/New meal for dinner
  • Sunday- Leftover breakfast foods for breakfast, baked potatoes for lunch, breakfast for dinner

How is this more simple?  The biggest thing that it does for me is refine what foods I’m looking for to fill my plan, for each night.  There are a few nights a week that don’t change at all, so I always know what to expect.  Sound boring?  It’s not.  It’s just simple.

I’m also in the process of working on a “regular meals” list to pull from… things that we have mastered and love… things that are simple and frugal.  I’ll post it once it’s written!

Four Essential Things

Posted on by

stepstosimplicity

I saw this on Facebook yesterday (Minimalism is Simple posted it), and since it goes along with what my heart’s desires, I re-posted it without thinking too deeply about it.

Then a friend of mine asked the question, “Where does Facebook fall on that list of essentials Courtney ;-) ?”

My initial thoughts was… “Ouch.”  Then, I let go of my pride and began to think about the question.  Does it fall into my list of essentials?  I mean, it’s just a website.  A website that so many (including myself) spend a lot of time on.  I’ve gotten off of Facebook a few times, and I really enjoyed that time.  But I will say that I felt so disconnected.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Facebook can fit into my list of essentials because my essentials would be somewhat broad.  One of the most important things in life, to me, is relationships.  Relationship with Jesus, my husband, my children, my family, my friends, and those that God calls into my life to mentor or be mentored by.  So, Facebook does fit here because with life being so busy, I end up having a lot of good relationship building through Facebook.  That might be sad, but it is what it is.  I have a lot of “friends” that I met online years ago and are some of the best friends a girl could have.  Yep… all online.

I used to think that the internet was good for nothing… a time waster… a way to feel guilty because I cannot do all that others do (or say they do)… a way to show off… But as I’ve taken time away from it, and as I’ve grown, I’ve realized that for me, it is a beneficial thing.  It can be a time waster… a way to feel guilty because I cannot do all that others do… a way to show off.  But, it doesn’t have to be.  I have days in which I’m probably online too much, and days in which I’m not online at all.  And at this point, I’m okay with that.

So as I think about what my four essentials are, I feel as though I’m already focusing on them pretty well :-) .  They are: 1) Relationships (with Jesus, my husband, my children, friends, family, those that I mentor and are mentored by), 2) Service (serving God by teaching my preschoolers, teaching and loving on Junior high students, and most importantly, my family), 3) Health (real food nutrition, reducing toxins, etc), and 4) Intentional and simple living (reducing the unimportant and pursuing the essential).

What would your four essentials be if you had to choose?

The Trendy Word… “Simplicity”

Posted on by

simplify your life(photo source unknown)

“For our boast is this: the testimony of our conscience that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you.”  2 Corinthians 1:12

Simplicity.  I hear that word a lot these days.  It’s all over blogs.  It’s all over books.  And it’s no wonder… this country has gone as far away from simplicity as can be.  And we’re all suffering because of it.

So, despite the fact that it’s sort of a “trendy word,” simplicity is my goal in just about everything in life.  Why?  Because simplicity allows for godly sincerity.  Simplicity allows me to stop thinking about things and focus on relationships (and more eternal things).

Am I there yet?  Absolutely not.

I have come a long way… we sold our expensive home (well, it was expensive to us); we have gotten rid of many toys, books, clothes, etc; we have used cars; we focus on frugality in most things; but we still have a long way to go.

I actually started pursuing simplicity before it was “trendy.”  About 6 years ago, I read the book Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard Foster.  While the whole book is very important and is applicable (on prayer, meditation, study, etc), the chapter on simplicity stood out to me the most.  It was a totally new concept to me.  And honestly, every-time I read it, I feel like I see something new.  When I first began pursuing this for our family, I decided to make a drastic change.  Just like with any drastic change, it is only consistent if you truly want it and honestly, I feel that baby steps need to be taken.  Now that I look back, I realize that we have come so far from the first time I read this.  Not in the outward life-style per se, but in the inward reality.  Foster says, “The Christian Discipline of simplicity is an inward reality that results in an outward life-style.“  It has taken six years to truly change on the inside… now it’s time to make more of a change in our out-ward life-style.

The three inner attitudes of simplicity are:

1) To receive what we have as a gift from God.

He gave it to us, and He can take it away.

2) To know that it is God’s business, and not ours, to care for what we have.

In other words… let go of control of “things” and trust God.

3) To have our goods available to others.

If someone needed one of your treasured “things,” would you be willing to share?

The outward expressions of simplicity are:

1) Buy things for their usefulness rather than their status.

2) Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you.

Yep… coffee, soda, television, Facebook, iPhones… This is hard.

3) Develop a habit of giving things away.  If you find that you are becoming attached to some possession, consider giving it to someone who needs it.

4) Refuse to be propagandized by the custodians of modern gadgetry (yes, this includes iPhone 5s, fancy computers, etc… yikes).

5) Learn to enjoy things without owning them (library, parks, camping, etc).

6) Develop a deeper appreciation for creation… “the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof” (Ps. 24:1).

God’s creation refreshes the soul, and is good for the physical body as well as the mental/emotional part of self.  I will be writing about this soon.

7) Look with a healthy skepticism at all “buy now, pay later” schemes.  They are a trap and only deepen your bondage.

Yes, debt.  It causes bondage.  I can testify to that in our own life.

8) Obey Jesus’ instructions about plain, honest speech.  “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No;’ anything more than this comes from evil” (Matt. 5:37).

9) Reject anything that breeds the oppression of others.

Did you know that most things that you buy in the U.S. causes oppression for others?  This one takes a lot of research and big change.  We aren’t there yet.

10) Shun anything that distracts you from seeking first the kingdom of God.

This includes even good things… even pursuing simplicity.

 

I started reading the book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess last night, and it truly speaks to my heart.  Here is the trailer for the book:

After I finish the book, I will write more about this.  Again, I have a long way to go, and I feel that this book will continue to give me the motivation to make the changes that I want to make (inside and out).

Will you join me?

Rest and Re-Focus

Posted on by

20121229-220801.jpg

I apologize for my absence this past week! My husband and I spent the four days following Christmas celebrating our anniversary (9 years!) in a cozy cabin, in a beautiful park! It has been an amazing several days of rest and re-focus!

I will be back, starting tomorrow, with many exciting posts!

Coming up on This Crazy, Messy Life

  • My Word for 2013: Consistency
  • Our Desire to Adopt: Current Thoughts and Plans
  • Why Eating Together and Having Daily Devotions are Necessary for Your Family
  • Why Being Outdoors is So Important!
  • Important Supplements for a Strong Immune System and Over-All Health
  • Simplifying to Be Consistent (series)
  • Keeping a Simple Household Notebook
  • Teaching Our Kids Responsibility (series)
  • Using Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
  • Steps to a More Simple and Intentional Life (series)
  • Introducing: Birth is Normal Childbirth Education Services!
  • My Grocery Budget: What and Where I Buy Real Foods
  • Baby Steps to Eating Real Food (series)
  • All About Raw Milk
  • My Favorite Natural and Homemade Products
  • Sprouted Flour: How and Why
  • Homemade Milk Kefir, Water Kefir, and Yogurt
  • Trophy Child Review and Giveaway! (I will tell you that this book is amazing!)
  • and so much more!

Lots of exciting things are happening on This Crazy, Messy Life!

So you went overboard… now what?

Posted on by

christmaspresents

This post may just be for me, but I’m hoping I’m not the only one :-) .

This Christmas started out very intentional and planned, and quickly went a bit out of control.  I had plans to make everything, bought a bunch of fabric (which cannot be returned), and then ended up buying most of our gifts (on top of what I spent on making gifts).  I believe that I had very good reason to not be able to make the gifts (we ended up being out of town a lot due to my grandpa passing away), but I’m also feeling a bit guilty about the amount of gifts that I ended up buying.

For most people, what we bought doesn’t seem that out of control, but for someone who was trying to keep expenses down considerably and keep the amount of presents at an all-time low, I’m feeling pretty bad about what I have purchased… especially for Karis… two art kits (painting and drawing/sketching), items to make necklaces and bracelets, organizing containers for the art kits and bead making kits, an art journal, a scrapbook kit, a hand-made apron and skirt, books, etc.  That’s a lot of gifts…

So I went a little bit overboard… now what?  I personally bought things that I feel my kids will use and are great gifts (so I don’t want to take them back), but at the same time, I don’t want them to think that Christmas is all about gifts, so I want to reduce the amount. 

This is what I will be doing:

  • Set all of the gifts out in one place.  If you’re like me, you have a few stashed in the garage, a few in the closet, a few under the bed, etc.  Spread them out so I can see all that I have bought.
  • Choose 3-4 gifts to give them this Christmas (the boys will be getting gifts that were free, so I’m not as worried about them as I am about Karis who I always buy too much for!)
  • Take the rest of the gifts, wrap them in a birthday wrapping paper, and put them away for birthday gifts!  My birthday presents are already paid for and wrapped!
  • Use the fabric that I bought for birthday and Christmas gifts next year :-) .  (besides, I need lots of sewing practice before I will be good enough to gift anything!)

I’m also going to make a set of “coupons” for the kids to put in their stockings (with activities on them), and we’re going to “gift” a camping trip!  I believe that experiences are more important than things!

One other thing that I went a little over-board on was planning tons of advent activities.  I have not done a great job of keeping up.  I have decided that next year I need to keep it more simple… choose a few activities and spread them out.  I will say that I LOVED using the Jesus Storybook Bible as our scripture reading for advent, though!  I will definitely do that again next year!

Live and learn, right?  Anyone else learning through mistakes this Christmas season?

We live a pretty simple life, but I have learned more and more that we have a lot more simplifying to do this year.  More to come on how we will do this!

Random Confessions/Thoughts, Part 2

Posted on by

This is part 2 of many “random confessions” to come.  I know that being “real” is one of my “gifts” (some would call it a weakness, ha!), and I hope it helps you in your journey in this crazy, messy life (because life is pretty crazy and messy, isn’t it?).

As I’ve said many times, I am a black and white person.  I struggle with balance… it’s all or nothing.  I spent so much time this weekend making/planning all new things that I didn’t get anything completed that was more of a priority.  I made homemade detergent, shampoo/body wash, deodorant, conditioner, face scrub, graham crackers, 4 loaves of bread, dairy free ranch, peanut butter “cereal,” milk kefir, water kefir, and yogurt.  By the end of each day, I was exhausted and I was so focused on what I had done all weekend.

I absolutely LOVE making things homemade, and I believe that it’s important (obviously).  The only problem is, it was all that I focused on… Even when we did things as a family (“camping out in the living room,” sitting by the fire in our backyard, etc), I was still thinking about all that I had done and all that I still want to do.

I became a hypocrite this weekend because I had just written a post about taking it one step at a time… Did I follow my own advice?  No.

And you know what?  All of that time spent on homemade things, and I feel like some of them didn’t turn out well.  Instead of focusing on perfecting a few things, I made a bunch of things that I wasn’t impressed with (of course, some of these I make every week and I think are fine, but you get the picture).

(reviews of each individual recipe/item that I made, coming soon!)

I also had a few days of reflecting on myself and my decisions recently because I have found that I am so different from so many people around me (here in Frisco).  I felt like a complete outsider, and most days I LOVE that… but this week I was struggling with it.  I came to the conclusion that God made me the way that I am for a reason and a purpose, and I’m doing what I feel is best for my family.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Christmas, about the way that we as Americans treat it, and just about consumerism in general.  I’m still processing and praying through this, but wow.  I have noticed a lot of the attitude of entitlement, parents not ever telling their kids “no,” and just an awful attitude towards ”stuff” lately.  I’m sure I’m even guilty of it… It’s so easy to get caught up in the world.

We received a Christmas card from the little girl that my family is sponsoring through World Vision the other day, and it almost hurt.  She wrote: “Our time of sharing for those who are in need has come 25th December is the birth of our Lord Jesus Chrst we be celebrating his birth I wish you a mery Christmas and happy new year.”  You know why it hurt?  Do you think that my family has taken the time to step back from our busyness long enough to write her a card/send her a gift?  Nope.  Have I been completely focused on the fact that our finances are super tight right now because of all the traveling that we have done, the fact that I wasn’t able to make all of the gifts that I wanted to make, and the fact that I’m worn out from all of the Christmas activities/gatherings?  Yep.  Poor me… We have all that we need, my kids have more than enough for Christmas, my family is healthy, I am worn out because of being with family and friends, and my house is a mess because we are blessed with too much.  Laundry takes hours… because maybe we have too many clothes.  And Sebabatso, the beautiful little girl from Africa, took the time from her busy life (you know, taking care of her household, going to school, walking long distances to get water, working to help support her family, etc) to write us a card in her own handwriting, with her own wonderful spelling (I mean, she’s learning English and she writes so well!), and with her beautiful heart.

And then I’m reminded this morning as I’m spending time with Jesus:

“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.” Psalm 103:8 & 10

“Jesus paid it all; all to Him I owe.  Sin has left a crimson stain; He washed it white as snow!”

He loves me… even knowing how ugly my selfish heart can be… even knowing that I don’t have it all together… even knowing that I try to have it all together in my own power… even when I sometimes try to do way too much and I’m not focused enough on my family… even when I don’t read to my kids enough… even when our household is a little crazy because of a crazy few weeks… even when we don’t play enough together as a family… even when I’m so tired that I can do nothing but sit and be still… He love ME.  He loves YOU.  Right where you are.  And all that He wants is to accept that love, and share it with others.  Why is that so hard sometimes?  Oh, remember, we are human.  God knows that we are weak without Him.  He gives us the strength that we need, so that He can be glorified.  Just like my blog header says, This Crazy, Messy Life… Embracing God’s Grace in the Midst of the Mess.  Here I am, a weak human, embracing His all sufficient grace.  Won’t you do the same?  Let’s embrace His love and grace, and share it with others!!