“I used to dream of a life so lovely, there’d be no room for tears. Now letting go… yeah, letting go… it’s the hardest part… it’s the hardest part.
There is no fight left, on the inside. Maybe that’s where I should be. I’m giving up trying; I’m giving it all to You.” No Fight Left by JJ Heller
I realized yesterday, as I was “chewing” on everything that God is teaching me, that I have had this idea that once I get “this, this, and this” in order, everything would be easier and better. Just like I said in the previous post, I try to fix everything instead of being filled with Jesus. Through this desire to “fix myself,” I have allowed a cycle to continue that should have been broken several years ago. I thought it was broken. But I was oh. so. wrong.
You see, I can’t break the cycle… only Jesus can. And until I realize that I need to completely fill myself with Him, all day, every day, this cycle will never be broken. Until I realize that I can’t control this, the cycle will never be broken.
I am going to be intentional about filling myself with Him and His truth and set the other “good things” aside for a while. Truly, He is the only one that is good… everything else is futile.
Again, I’m going to spend less time reading other blogs, being on Facebook, and focusing on things that are temporal, and I’m going to spend more time with Jesus and focusing on things that are eternal. This will not be easy, because my natural inclination is to see what other people say about this or that, and to research ways to become better at this or that. But, instead of researching worldly things, I need to fill myself with Truth.
What are the “laws” that I’ve created for myself, and the lies from Satan that I believe?
I’m not a good mom unless I feed my children all organic, grass fed, homemade foods. That I must stick with a budget perfectly or it’s really going to hurt our family. Because I have struggled with homeschooling Karis, I’m a bad mom and a bad teacher. Because my house is currently messy, I must be lazy and not a good stay at home mom. If I don’t follow everything that I have set up for myself to complete each day, I’m a bad wife and mom. My identity is in what I do, not who I am in Christ. If I let someone down, I have permanently hurt them.
One thing that I see through all of these “laws” and lies is that it’s all about me. I have allowed myself to believe that I truly have control in every area, and if something isn’t perfect, it’s my fault. How selfish. How prideful. How untrue. It’s not all about me as much as I would love to believe that.
Here is some truth to end the post-
Galatians:
“…yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified.” 2:16
“For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loves me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if justification were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.” 2:19-21
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” 5:1
“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” 5:13
“But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.” 5:16-18
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control; against such things there is no law.” 5:22-23 (notice it doesn’t say the fruit of the Spirit is a clean house, homemade food, natural living, perfect children…)
“If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” 5:25
Watch this amazing video, reminding us of who we are: Liberty (by Shane & Shane and Phil Wickham)
The Lord is the Spirit
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, now
There is liberty
And the Spirit lives inside of me
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, now
There is liberty, there is liberty,
There is liberty
For freedom You set me free
And yes, I am free indeed
You rewrote my name
And shackled my shame
You opened my eyes to see
I am free
When the spirit of the world
Comes to kill me and enslave me I will say
There is liberty
For the chains of sin that once entangled me
Have been broken, now I’m singing ’cause I’m free
There is liberty, there is liberty,
There is liberty
For freedom You set me free
And yes, I am free indeed
You rewrote my name
And shackled my shame
You opened my eyes to see
I am free
The storm rolled in
It was dark in the land
As the Son of Man
Was crucified
You don’t take his life
He laid it down
He paid the price
And shed His blood
It is done!
The veil is torn
He has won
And I am free
And I am free
And I am free
I am free
For freedom You set me free
And yes, I am free indeed
You rewrote my name
And shackled my shame
You opened my eyes to see
For freedom You set me free
And yes, I am free indeed
You rewrote my name
And shackled my shame
You opened my eyes to see
I am free