This may seem like a pretty negative post… but I’ll be honest… that’s how I’m feeling about this topic at the moment.
I know all about food. I have done so much research over the years. I know what is most nutritious, and the best ways to prepare our foods. I even have great resources to be able to get nutritious foods locally (including raw milk, grass-fed/pastured meats, raw cheese, local produce, etc).
But despite what I know about food, I also know that life is so busy.
I struggle so much with balance that some days I feel paralyzed by it. It can cause lots of anxiety.
I either focus and idolize eating well, or I go the other direction and just give up on it. Just when I feel as though I’ve learned balance, I hit a wall.
I hit that wall this morning.
I know it doesn’t matter, really, but I stepped on my scale and realized that I gained about 4 pounds this week. I’ve been eating whatever I want the past few weeks…
I went from one extreme (just a few weeks ago), to the other. These past few weeks I thought I would try out shopping at one store, and keep it simple. I gave myself the same budget (just in case), but I thought that I would try really hard to spend less (why not… I’m not spending a fortune on local foods!).
Instead of spending more on grass-fed/local foods, I found that I filled my cart with quite a bit of junk.
I bought cereals that I haven’t bought in a long time. I bought Oreos. I bought bread that is not exactly nutritious.
I bought some healthier items, but I feel like I bought so many things we could have done without…
And in the moment, I felt a weight lifted. Instead of having to worry about spending the whole weekend in the kitchen, I could spend it with my family. That’s huge. Instead of spending time focusing on meal planning, grocery list making, budgeting, etc, I was able to just relax.
But today, I woke up thinking that I’ve made a mistake in that.
When, oh when will I find balance?
Or is it really okay to just buy some things that I haven’t bought in a long time and allow my “kids to be kids.”
I really don’t know right now.
I know that if there are processed foods in my house, I will eat them. I know that if I don’t set strict limits, I will struggle to find that line. But I also know that when I do set strict limits, I struggle with anxiety about it.
As of today, I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired of this!! I’m seeking God’s will. He’s the only one that can help me in this battle.
And at the end of the day, I realize I am human. I might struggle with balance in this area. We all struggle with something.
I have a new day tomorrow. That’s all that I can lean on right now.